Moonlit hands
by pikakura
Summary: Kurapika has a hard time coping with his sexuality and attraction towards his best friend. Meanwhile, Killua tries to find a way of coping with Gon's seemingly naivety. AU in a university life. This story does not contain mpreg, BDSM, rape, abuse or addiction, because that's the way I like it. Eventual M rating, LeorioxKurapika & KilluaxGon.
1. Chapter 1

The moonlight shone brightly on the pavement below, accentuating the absence of people at this ungodly hour. Four flights high, there was a blonde young man sitting in the protruding, old windowsill. In the apartment in front of him, the curtains were still open. The lights were on, and the most prominent thing was a huge chandelier glittering in front of a huge mirror in the middle of that ugly, white washed room. A chubby woman in her thirties looked at herself, in nothing but her underwear. She looked at herself from the front, from the side, other side, front, only to repeat that cycle for a while.

The young man in de windowsill knew he was watching something private, something she didn't mean for anyone to see. She was insecure, a woman who was trying to please. He sighed, and although he knew he shouldn't watch, he was calm and in a mood to contemplate. He decided to analyse her for a little to keep his mind of things. To think about her situation instead of his own. It made him a bit sleepy, and that was exactly the point. He knew she didn't know she was being observed, heck, the hole night didn't know he was up. That exact idea of being the only aware of the situation was what he treasured. His eyes started to sting. He was about to get up from his place, there on the small bench, when the woman exited the room. The lights were still on; she was bound to come back to turn it off.

Only a few moments later, the woman came back, pulling a big, overly muscled guy into the room by his wrist. He sat himself down on the couch, unzipped his pants and after that, the woman, now without her underwear, sat on his lap as she started going up and down in fast rhythm. No sound, no warning, no intimacy. Instincts only. This sex-scene was presented to him on a matter-of-factly platter. The young man was a little surprised. Nonetheless, he couldn't take his eyes of the couple. It interested him. Luckily for him, he didn't need to make the choice to keep staring or to walk away from the scene, as the guy pulled the curtain with one arm and with that, the couple disappeared from sight altogether.

' _Well, that certainly something you don't see every day.'_ He thought as he rubbed his eyes. Very stingy now. He couldn't really tell if the whole scene really fazed him or not. He was, if anything, a little surprised that something like that didn't stir any sexual desires in himself.

The next morning, he walked on that pavement below, now lively and warm. The birds were flying over, singing a song that had nothing to do with secrecy. In broad daylight, that scene was unthinkable. It didn't exist. Some things don't really exist if you don't talk about them.

'Good morning!' Gon stated happily with a bright grin. He was wearing his green coat and orange scarf.

'Good morning, Gon. You seem cheerful today.' Kurapika said, snuggling his face in his red scarf a little.

'Yeah!' Gon said. He looked as though he was dying to tell someone about it. 'I'm excited for tonight!'

'That's great Gon, I'm looking forward to it as well. It's been a while.' The blonde said.

'Idiot, you're always so happy about those little things.' Killua said, ruffling the head of his black-haired friend. Gon closed his eyes in surprise and flinched a little, but he didn't seem to mind. They're always like this anyway.

'So, where's that old geezer?' Killua asked.

The blonde quirked an eyebrow. 'He's always got class at ten on Thursdays, not at nine like us. You should know that by now.'

'Oh yeah.' Killua said, with a _now that you mention it_ look on his face.

'Besides, we should head inside, we're going to be late if we stay here any longer.' Kurapika said, while starting to walk towards the university building.

Before Killua could even process that sentence, Gon nudged him in the side with his elbow and said: 'Whoever gets inside last pays for hot chocolate tonight!' and went off running with Killua already catching up on him.

'Pfft, they never change.' The blonde mumbled to himself with a small smile on his lips. He stopped walking for a second, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was going to be long day, and although he was looking forward to go to the usual café with his friends, and even though he was always thrilled to see the older doctor in the making, he had to keep his emotions in check. And it was this duality that cost Kurapika quiet some of his mental energy.

'Good morning.'

'Ah!' Kurapika jumped as he heard that familiar voice. He turned around to face his best friend Leorio. The blonde felt a little caught in the act and blushed.

'What are you doing standing there? Is everything okay?' Leorio asked.

'Yeah, I'm fine. You're early today.' Kurapika said, trying to quickly snap out of his train of thought and be fully mentally present.

'Just a little, I've got some reading to catch up to and I can't really concentrate at home in the morning. I'll just keep lazing about if I try.'

'Oh, I kind of get what you mean. What's the subject?'

'Ah, remember I had to choose two courses of choice? I choose physiotherapy as one of them and have to read about certain exercises for people with joint injuries. I kind of like how relatively easy movements can speed up and enhance recovery.' Leorio said quiet enthusiastically. 'It's actually stuff I have to read for tomorrow because we will be visiting a sports physiotherapist and look at the way he treats his patients, but I wanted to have it done by tonight so that I won't have to worry about it anymore.'

'Sounds interesting, and good thing you'll get to do that in advance. I'm looking forward to tonight.' Kurapika said and gave him a smile.

'Yeah, me too. It's been a while, but I guess it couldn't be helped with the exams and all.' Leorio said. As they reached the entrance of the building. 'Well, I gotta go to the library. I'll see you at five!'

'Yes, good luck. And I'll see you then.' Kurapika replied. And with that, Leorio walked in the opposite direction. Kurapika couldn't help but look at his back for a bit. He really did like that long black coat on him. It accentuated his height and good figure. He sighed to himself, time to head for class.


	2. Chapter 2

**It's nice to see some people are reading my story, to those: thanks for reading! Second chapter is up! Disclaimer: of course I don't own this Scheisse.**

* * *

The café was cosy, with it's dark wooden floor and walls and silly chairs with red upholstery. Gon and Killua were sitting on a couch that seemed to have inflated with exhaustion over the years. It was their favourite couch there, and it was one of those couches where your body drowns in, which in turn makes it a little hard to get up from it again. Leorio and Kurapika took the chairs in front of that couch, as usual.

After some warm group chatting over hot chocolate - about the hardships of the exam period - Gon and Killua inevitably began babbling away. Killua seemed to be on a strike with his jokes, which were in the form of riddles. In the end, Gon gave such silly answers to those riddles that it was mostly Killua who laughed his heart out.

'Okay, here's a next one Gon!' Killua said enthusiastically, pointing a finger in the air.

'Bring it!' Gon responded, making a fist to go with his determination.

'If I have it, I don't share it-' Killua started calmly.

'Chocolate!' Gon exclaimed.

'I'm not done with the riddle yet!' Killua said and frowned.

'Oh right… hehe.' Gon scratched his cheek apologetically.

'If I have it, I don't share it. If I share it, I don't have it. What is it?'

'Hmm….' Gon pondered, while Killua looked glad it puzzled him again.

'Yes?' Killua inquired.

'Chocolate!' Gon decided to say again, looking really proud of himself for having found the right answer, and so quickly too.

'No! It's not chocolate! Geez Gon, you already said that!'

'But it has to be chocolate! You never share it, and you feel like you won't have enough of it if you share it!'

'That's not true! I shared once!'

'And you regretted it immediately!' Gon countered.

Killua pouted. 'Well, I guess that's sort of true… but it's not chocolate!'

'What is it then?' Gon asked, sulking a little because his answer wasn't correct.

'A secret.' Killua said in a tutoring way with his eyes closed.

'You're not telling me!?' Gon exclaimed.

'No, it's a secret. I mean-' Killua tried to explain, but to no avail. Gon didn't get it.

Meanwhile, Leorio was telling Kurapika about his day and his recently started courses of choice, which turned out to be not only physiotherapy, but also an extra course about different kinds of cancer treatments. Kurapika couldn't help but be impressed with Leorio's enthusiasm and knowledge as always. He may be a little loud mouthed, but he had such a big heart for what he did, it was hard not to be impressed. The blonde was convinced that Leorio would become not only a great, but also a very fun doctor.

After an hour, the warmth of the café and the hot drinks became a little too much for the doctor in the making. He stood up, took of his blazer and placed it over the back of his chair. Kurapika had to be careful not to stare. Leorio proved to be handsome indeed, wearing only a white dress shirt, of which he rolled up the sleeves to reveal toned arms and strong blood veins.

'Which reminds me, you remember I'm taking physiology right?' Leorio asked while he sat down. He began to undo the first few buttons of his shirt, revealing a good deal of skin. Kurapika couldn't help but peek a little, luckily he could multitask.

'Oh yeah, the course you were talking about it this morning.' Kurapika said.

'Yeah well, you see. There's actually a favour I'd like to ask regarding that course.' Leorio said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. 'A favour?' And why did Leorio look so uncertain about it?

'Yes, well. They told me I needed to practice my massaging skills with people I know, family or friends, since it's such a short course, these things usually take years to learn you know. And I thought you'd find it okay if I practiced a little on you, since you regularly have a sore back and shoulders, and all.' Leorio explained, taking a sip from his hot chocolate with rum.

Kurapika couldn't respond immediately. Practise on me? He was desperately trying to hide his excitement and embarrassment regarding the idea, but he wasn't able to stop the heat from going to his face. He didn't know if he should panic or celebrate, but he knew he had to stay calm and cool about it. He didn't want to seem to eager. The massaging might proof problematic too. Kurapika knew he would get excited, and he didn't really want to end up with a boner in front of his best friend and secret crush.

'No, I eh… sure. No problem.' Kurapika managed. Shit. The words left his mouth before he knew it. Then again, even though there was a high risk involved, he couldn't really let this oppurtunity slide, could he?

'Great! Thanks Kurapika. You're a lifesaver.' Leorio winked, and even though he did that more often, it took the blonde off-guard everytime it happened.

'I'ts no big deal. It'll probably help me with my shoulders too.' The blonde said, which almost sounded like an excuse he was making for himself to give in to this.

'I hope it will, that would mean I'd be good at it.' Leorio said with a grin. 'I'll practice untill I can do it right, okay?'


	3. Chapter 3

**Good evening everybody. I'm a complete wreck after a very physically demanding day at work and at home (scaffolds and cleaning), but am very glad to be able to write a little again.**

 **I see more people have started to read the story. I'm glad to see that! This chapter is about Killua and Gon, written (mainly) from Killua's point of view.**

 **Next thing, I don't live in America, but to all of you who do, I hope you don't live in St-Marten or Florida, if you do, take care. If you know anyone in Florida or St-Marten, I really hope everything will turn out to be alright in the end. These hurricanes must be a nightmare. My heart also goes out to those in Mexico or anybody who knows someone there. That earthquake was a bitch. And finally to all of you Americans at risk of being deported "back" to their original country, stay strong. These truly are tough times for you guys. Shout outs and a lot of love to those in need.**

 **Disclaimer: I still don't own any Scheisse.**

The wet leaves were slippery beneath their feet as they walked towards their shared apartment at a steady pace. With Leorio and Kurapika gone, and a smiling, content Gon right next to him, the thoughts he had in the café kicked in. Kurapika definitely liked Leorio. That was clear as the melted water from a glacier to him. He wanted Gon to see it too, he wanted him to have an eye for it. He wanted him to contemplate romanticism. Anything. But in all these ten years that they had been friends, he had never heard Gon say a word about his own interest in love or sex. Okay, except maybe that one remark that he had earned from Gon at the age of seventeen, when he was wearing a black, skin-tight, long-sleeved shirt with open shoulders. Gon had said that the shirt made Killua look "sexy".

First and last time he heard it from Gon.

Killua had blushed then, and had really gotten his hopes up from there on, but life had gotten on as it always did. Which meant Gon would make a lot of remarks about their friendship, how glad he was they ever met, and also one or two remarks about his hair or his face. But that was about it.

He knew that if he wanted to see any progress, he'd have to make the first steps himself. But he was scared shitless of the thought that Gon might leave him. His first friend ever, since his parents had never let him go out of the house except for school, and the kids in his class thought of him as scary back then. "That kid with the scary eyes" and "vampire kid" were said in those days like they were vinyl records, top ten hits. That means there were several remixes of those remarks too. Nevertheless, Gon had been there for him. He never said anything of the sort, just was his friend.

Gon had been his light, and at a select period of time – at the age of fifteen – the only thing he thought was worth getting out of bed for. He had smiled at him genuinely like he still does. That fluffy ball of optimism, friendliness and enthusiasm was the thing he still liked about Gon.

The thing that bothered Killua in particular as they walked down that slippery path, was that Leorio was obviously trying to show off to Kurapika. Flaunting his fit shape and bragging about his knowledge in full-colour HD. Damn it. They liked each other, Gon was happy with how things were, and Killua was the only one losing the game called love like the sole injured turtle in a race exclusively meant for rabbits.

'Ne Killua.' Gon said. 'Where did you learn all those riddles? They were really great.'

Killua looked up from the ground to look Gon in the eye, and couldn't help but notice a wet leaf in the middle of Gon's thick black hair, but he decided to ignore it for now. It would probably get out by itself at some point.

'What makes you think I didn't make them up myself?' Killua asked.

'Really?! That's amazing!' Gon said excitedly. Killua wanted to hug him and shake him up thoroughly at the same time. Those riddles were very well known. It's a miracle Gon didn't know any of them.

'Nah, just got them off the web.' Killua said dryly. Even talking to him hurt right now. He knew he had to get to bed, and everything would turn out a little brighter after a good night of sleep.

'Oh I see.' Gon said. 'They were still great though!'

'You're so easily entertained. That made it worth it looking them up then.' Killua responded.

A moment of silence fell and a few sporadic, thick raindrops fell and landed loudly on the leaves and in a puddle. Killua looked at the puddle for a bit, just because he could, but maybe also because he was trying to avoid talking about anything but the casual stuff.

'Is something wrong Kilua?' Gon asked.

'Huh? What makes you say that?' Killua asked in return, turning his face towards Gon with slightly bigger eyes due to his surprise.

'You're looking at things other than people sometimes, and it makes me feel like you're thinking about something.' Gon said. He really was observant.

'Hm, nothing's wrong. Just thinking about some stuff.' Killua said, avoiding the subject. 'However, there is one thing I have to let you know.'

'Okay, tell me Killua.' Gon said in all earnestness.

'The thing that's really bugging me right now…' Killua started. 'Is that stupid leaf on your head!' And with that, the silver-haired boy flew towards his, got him in a headlock and started searching for the leaf. He found it, and tried to grab it, but Gon struggled in his grip.

'Oii!' Gon exclaimed in surprise. 'What are you doing!'

'I'm just getting rid of this thing. It looks ridiculous on you!' And Killua started to ruffle the black hair underneath to just shake the leaf out.

'You startled me there!' Gon said, laughing a bit while trying to look angry.

'Oh boohoo. I'm just trying to fix this.' Killua grinned as he ruffled Gon's hair unnecessarily fast and hard.

'Then how would you feel if I did that all of a sudden!'

Gon grabbed Killua's wrist, turned around swiftly to get behind his friend, and got Killua in something that looked more like a hug than a headlock. When Killua was pressed with his back against Gon's chest, Gon started to ruffle Killua's hair a little.

Killua's heartbeat started racing like a techno-track once he felt himself being pressed on Gon, a blush claiming his face. But then the black-is haired boy stopped ruffling his friend's hair and put the other arm around Killua too. Killua stood there perplexed, unable to even move his arms in this position. Blue eyes went wide with disbelief.

'Geez Killua. If you don't want to talk about it, you can just say so you know.' Gon said a little softer.

Kilua didn't know what to say and he didn't even know if he was allowed to let himself go in Gon's hug. It was things like this hug that fed his strange and ever-lasting crush like a starved-for-a-week prisoner getting a loaf of bread with Nutella.

Unexpectedly, a middle-aged couple popped up from around the corner, and they stared at them strangely while passing them. Killua felt truly embarrassed.

'Gon, people are staring. Let's go home.' Killua said. Once Killua said that. Gon released Killua to walk next to him again.

That had been exactly what Killua did and did not need at the moment. He felt a mix of despair and hope and it got him confused, while he could still feel Gon's chest against his back, and his chin again his ear.

As they neared another lamppost, he lowered his head and let his bangs cover his face as much as possible. He didn't want his friend to know he was all hot and bothered about a bit of physical contact.

Gon, still worried about Killua, walked on with a frown looking at his best friend. That silver hair made it impossible to see Killua's expression right now. He was hiding something. Why was Killua not talking to him? Why didn't he want to tell Gon what was bothering him?

He's hiding something.

And suddenly, the riddle of earlier that evening dawned to Gon. If he shared it, he wouldn't have it…

It's a secret.


End file.
